RELEASE THE KRAKEN / KAREN SWITCH PANEL

 

DISCLAIMER: THE KAREN VS KAREN

At this juncture, the Concord Aerospace team wishes to make clear that our "RELEASE THE KRAKEN / KAREN SWITCH PANEL" is conceived as a lighthearted, satirical creation. The term "THE KAREN" is utilized here to delineate a particular behavioral trait. It is crucial to underscore that this product is not intended to undermine or ridicule the genuine human name KAREN, a name deeply rooted in biblical significance denoting "PURE". We approach this matter with due respect, acknowledging the name's historical and cultural significance, separate from the humorous context it takes on in certain contemporary contexts.
Now that we are clear...enjoy the rest of this description. 

 

ANCIENT TERROR HAS A NEW FOE...AND "SHE" LIVES, LAUGHS, AND LOVES

Oh, gallant warriors and indomitable conquerors, heed this call to unleash the relentless might that lies dormant within the depths of the abyss. Awaken the fearsome power of the Kraken, and let it strike terror into the hearts of your foes. No more shall you dwell in the shadows of meekness; now is the time to grasp the ultimate weapon of divine vengeance!

As the battlefield quakes beneath your commanding presence, summon forth the Kraken's wrath and crush your enemies' spirits with a force they can scarcely fathom. With booming authority, let your voice resonate across the lands, echoing the decree that shall shatter their resolve: "RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!"

BUT, 

In the abyss of dire need and impending terror, when all other options have been exhausted and even the Kraken's might falters, a darker and more dreadful force lurks—the dreaded and abhorrent "Karen."

Beware! Only those physically and psychologically prepared should dare to unleash this formidable power, for it wields a force beyond comprehension, bringing forth public unpleasantness and mass hysteria of Biblical proportions. The risks to oneself and loved ones are grave, and caution must prevail. But in the depths of a battle of wits with a mere "commoner," when victory seems unattainable, and the intervention of a superior being becomes the last hope, the resounding call emerges: "RELEASE THE KAREN."

Proceed with both gravity and solemnity, for the consequences of this summoning are not to be taken lightly. Let the legend of The Karen echo through the ages, a force both revered and dreaded, bringing triumph to the rare few who dare to wield its awesome might. May this power be held in reverence, to be invoked only when the brink of oblivion draws near and all other defenses have fallen.

PANEL TECHNICAL INFORMATION: 

THE KRAKEN / THE KAREN RELEASE CONTROL PANEL INCLUDES:

• Multi-layer laser cut switch assembly.
• Real / Operable heavy-duty toggle switch. (20A-125VAC / 15A-250VAC).
• SPST (ON-OFF Configuration). 
• SPDT upgrade available on request. 
• Accurately sized switch guard and bezels based on the Apollo Command Module. 
• Custom fabricated stainless-steel washers. 
• Reproduction DZUS for enhanced visuals.
• Damage Direction Indicator. (KRAKEN-HIGH DAMAGE, KAREN-MAX DAMAGE)
• Completely designed, manufactured and assembled in our Orlando facility.
• Ships within 5 days.
• If you need a panel urgently, please contact us and we can expedite your order.

Important usage warning:  Although our switch panels are sold as memorabilia & display units, they include industrial grade toggle switch / button hardware as a part of their design.  We utilize these components within our simulation projects and wire them in order to make the switches operational.  In the case of powered operational use, the owner assumes all risk and liability for proper installation of these products.  Concord Aerospace is not liable for any damages caused by the incorrect use or faulty wiring of our products.

THE ANCIENT LEGEND OF THE KAREN

(The Fallen Goddess of Delusion and Unpleasantness)

  Depiction of The Karen Getting Banished from Olympus by Zeus. 

 

In the age-old tales of Greece, whispers spoke of "THE KAREN" as the offspring of ENTITLETES, the lesser-known God of Delusion and Entitlement, and PRIVIOS, the Goddess of Privilege. ENTITLETES, with his golden mane and a crown adorned with entitlements, ruled over the realm of self-importance, where every whim was catered to with unwavering devotion. PRIVIOS, on the other hand, was known for her opulent robes and a scepter forged from the finest privilege, granting her dominion over realms of luxury and excess.

When "THE KAREN" came into the world, all Gods were taken aback to see her bearing the appearance of a 45-year-old, ill-suited woman in sweatpants, a clear reflection of her divine lineage. Her hair, styled in a perpetual state of "I want to speak to the manager," cascaded down her shoulders like a waterfall of entitlement, while her eyes sparkled with the unyielding conviction of someone who believes they know better than anyone else.

As time passed, "THE KAREN" grew to despise Gods who differed from her. Lacking wit and charm, she only communicated through arguments, her voice echoing through the halls of Olympus like a never-ending complaint. When she sensed a losing battle, she'd immediately call for Zeus to intervene, demanding justice for perceived slights and injustices.

After years of unrest on Mount Olympus, Zeus, weary of her antics, banished "THE KAREN" for her constant racist tirades and overall demeanor. It's also said that her peculiar hairstyle, modeled after the classic Greek/Corinthian Warrior helmets, irked Ares, God of War. He took it as a mockery of brave soldiers, an insult that could not be forgiven. Whatever the reason, in all historical renditions of the myth, "THE KAREN" was cast out of Olympus for eternity, becoming the Fallen Goddess of Unpleasantness. Legend has it she resides in an underwater chamber beneath the island of Mykonos, forever complaining about the Mediterranean water being wetter than the Aegean. She waits, still, to speak with Poseidon about this matter.

KARENS IN HISTORY: THE FIRST EVER RECORDED KAREN ENCOUNTER

In 320 BC, within the bustling Athens Acropolis Agora, Plato bore witness to a scene that would reverberate through the ages as the world's first recorded Karen encounter. An inebriated Karen, steeped in entitlement, vociferously demanded reparation for a broken olive oil amphora – an item she herself had shattered. Her insistence on speaking directly with the manager of the ancient site for both a replacement and a full refund left Plato, among others, pondering the enduring grip of entitlement on society. This encounter would serve as a catalyst for Plato's reflections on justice and societal order, themes that would permeate his magnum opus, "The Republic." Inspired by the Karen's brazen demands for special treatment and restitution, Plato delved deeper into questions of fairness, virtue, and the nature of the ideal society. "The Republic," his seminal work, presents a vision of an ideal city-state governed by philosopher-kings, a direct response to the challenges posed by individuals like the Karen who disrupt the harmony and balance of society with their unchecked entitlement.

KARENS IN HISTORY: THE MONA LISA'S TROUBLESOME MUSE

The Mona Lisa, one of history's most renowned paintings, was commissioned by Francesco del Giocondo, a wealthy Florentine merchant, to commemorate the birth of his second son with a portrait of his wife, Lisa. However, Lisa's illness prevented her from modeling, leaving Leonardo da Vinci, the commissioned artist, in a quandary. Known for his meticulous attention to detail, Leonardo sought a replacement model but found himself saddled with a Karen - a woman with an insatiable appetite for attention and a knack for making every artistic endeavor a nightmare. The Karen's incessant demands for revisions and her inability to hold a pose tested Leonardo's patience, driving him to the brink of madness.

Despite the challenges, Leonardo persevered, and in 1517, after years of painstaking work, he completed the Mona Lisa. The painting's enigmatic smile has since become one of art history's enduring mysteries, with some speculating it reflects Leonardo's frustration with the Karen and others seeing it as a testament to her disruptive influence. Despite the obstacles posed by the Karen, Leonardo's triumph stands as a testament to his skill and perseverance.

KARENS IN HISTORY: UNMASKING SCROOGE

In the 19th century, Charles Dickens had a memorable encounter with a particularly monstrous Karen in his personal life. This Karen, devoid of empathy and with a demeanor as chilling as the darkest villain in a Gothic novel, left such a profound impact on Dickens that he felt compelled to immortalize her in his writing. However, Dickens soon realized that the sheer terror induced by the Karen was too much for readers to handle. A tale featuring a Karen as the main character might have instilled such fear and anger in readers that they would have revolted in outrage, storming Dickens' doorstep with torches and pitchforks in hand. Faced with this potential backlash, Dickens ingeniously channeled his experiences with the Karen into the creation of his most iconic character: Ebenezer Scrooge. Thus, the Karen unwittingly became the original inspiration for one of literature's most nefarious figures, prompting Dickens to ponder the depths of human selfishness and the consequences of a life devoid of compassion.

 

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT KAREN SAFETY:

Like most monsters, the origins of "THE KAREN" are rooted in folklore and centuries-old tales meant to scare children. Despite its mythical beginnings, extensive research has revealed that "THE KAREN" is, in fact, a type of human lifeform rather than the vengeful demigod it was once believed to be.

In recent times, there has been a surge in "THE KAREN" sightings as these individuals have developed the ability to blend in as normal humans in public places, assuming various shapes, sizes, and ages.

For your safety, avoiding a Karen encounter is the best way to protect yourself and your loved ones.

HOW TO SPOT A KAREN:

In most cases, a Karen manifests in a "female" form, although there has been a recent rise in the male counterpart population known as "Kyles." Look out for the following characteristics:

• Heightened Sense of Entitlement: Karens exhibit a violent sense of entitlement and delusion, often leading to discriminatory and racist behavior.
• Rude Attitude: They display extreme rudeness towards customer care and food service employees.
• Overbearing Confidence: Karens have an unwavering conviction that they know everything better than anyone else, whether a person, scholar, or expert.
• Addiction to Authority Figures: Karens frequently seek validation from authority figures such as store managers, restaurant owners, and local law enforcement.

 

IF YOU ENCOUNTER A KAREN:

As with encountering any potentially aggressive creature, it's essential to proceed with caution. Karens, notorious for their unpredictable behavior, can be likened to encountering a wild animal in the urban jungle. Here are some guidelines to navigate a Karen encounter:

• STAY CALM: Maintain your composure and avoid sudden movements. Any sign of agitation could trigger a Karen's aggressive response.
• BACK UP SLOWLY: Much like retreating from a territorial predator, never turn your back on a Karen or attempt to flee. Slowly back away to avoid provoking them.
• AVOID STARING: Direct eye contact with a Karen can be interpreted as a challenge or threat, akin to locking eyes with a wild beast. Resist the urge to engage in a staring contest.
• GIVE IT SPACE: Allow the Karen to maintain their perceived dominance by ensuring you're not blocking their path. Giving them ample room to maneuver can help deescalate the situation.
• BEWARE OF THE HAIR: The distinctive hairstyle sported by Karens serves as a visual cue, reminiscent of the elaborate displays observed in certain animal species during mating rituals. Refrain from commenting on their hair or engaging in behavior that may inadvertently be perceived as part of a courtship display.

IF WITNESSING A KAREN ATTACK:

In the event of witnessing a Karen unleashing their toxic behavior on others, it's crucial to protect yourself while documenting the incident. Shield your eyes from the spectacle and use your mobile device camera as a barrier. Capturing evidence of the encounter can help expose the Karen's behavior and serve as a deterrent to future outbursts.

 

KAREN TRIVIA #2:

The famous book of The Art of War by Chinese military general Sun Wu (Sun Tzu) can be effectively used to fend off a Karen encounter. The use of superior intellect, unconventional means and deception to exert psychological dominance produces invaluable leverage over THE KAREN in a public confrontation. Although a master of war, it is also believed that after dealing with a Karen attack himself, Sun Tzu coined the sentiment “I WOULD NOT WISH A KAREN ON MY WORST ENEMY”.

 

DISCLAIMER: THE KAREN VS KAREN

At this juncture, the Concord Aerospace team wishes to make clear that our "RELEASE THE KRAKEN / KAREN SWITCH PANEL" is conceived as a lighthearted satirical creation. The term "THE KAREN" is utilized here to delineate a particular behavioral trait. It is crucial to underscore that this endeavor is not intended to undermine or ridicule the genuine human name KAREN, a name deeply rooted in biblical significance denoting "PURE". We approach this matter with due respect, acknowledging the name's historical and cultural significance, separate from the humorous context it takes on in certain contemporary contexts